Soldier's Suicide
by The Blue Seeress
Summary: As you may have guessed form the title, it's about Heero and suicide. Don't worry HE DOES NOT DIE! Pleaseread and review, I really like this one.


This odd idea came to me as a played a computer game that makes me think up depressing plot lines. But it has a happy ending! It is best understood if you are aware that everything in itallics is Heero's _thought_.  
  
Warnings: Shounen-ai (2X1) and depression/suicidal intentions. Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. You knew that before I told you.  
  
Soldier's Suicide  
by The Blue Seeress  
  
Late in the afternoon, there are not many people on top of the Empire State Building. Especially not on Thursdays in January, when even is either at or getting off work.  
  
Because of this, Heero had it all to himself. He surveyed the New York skyline, silouhetted against the splashes of a colorful sunset, as the wind stirred his chocolate colored hair.  
  
_So beautiful. Perfect for my last day._  
  
He leaned over the ledge a little. Prussian blue eyes turned from the skyline to the sidewalk. Irrational fear surged in him; it was a long way down. He forced the feeling down.  
  
_This is stupid. I came here to fall, but so I shouldn't be scared of falling. How far is it, anyway?_  
  
His thought's traveled to the last time he had jumped out of a building. Fifty goddamn stories, and he had only broken his leg.  
  
_How many floors were listed in the elevator? Hundred...something...two or three. Oh, wait, this is the 86th floor. That's not far enough. I'll probably only break two legs._  
  
Heero lifted himself of the ledge, which was a little cold. As he did so, his eyes passed over the rubble of the infamous Ground Zero. Pain flashed in his face before reverting to it's normal, stoic mask.  
  
_It looks just like all those bases I destroyed. And that housing building where I killed that girl and her dog. I need to end it to atone for all the destruction I've caused. How am I different from bin Laden?_  
  
Heero took another look at the sidewalk, and shook his head. It wouldn't kill him. It would leave him unrepented. He needed another way. He turned away and leaned against the barrier. Deep in thought, he didn't notice that he wasn't alone anymore.  
  
_Waste of 7 bucks. Back to the drawing board..._  
  
A gust of wind stirred his hair and chilled his bare arms.  
  
_...at home. At least it's climate controlled._  
  
Heero stood up and left. He didn't notice the other man at all, but he was noticed. Very noticed. And followed.  
  
----------  
  
"The soonest flight to Japan. No, no, just one way."  
  
"But Mr. Yuy, we're not allowed to sell one way tickets to Japan. To many people did that to jump into the volcanoes."  
  
_How the hell did she know!? Wait, maybe she doesn't..._  
  
"I'm...moving there," Heero lied to his travel agent over the phone, "I only need a one way. There are exceptions about moving, aren't there?  
  
"I think...yes! There are. When do you want to leave?"  
  
_I can't believe she fell for that._ "Today. As soon as possible."  
  
"Alright...there's a flight leaving to San Fransisco then to Japan in three hours. I've put you on it."  
  
"Good. You know where to bill. Bye."  
  
"Goodbye, Mr. Yuy."  
  
----------  
  
Heero stood on the lip of a large volcanoe, and looked in. Heat struck his face, although the magma wasn't visible from where he was.  
  
_Good. If it's that hot it will kill me quickly._  
  
He looked around surrepitiously, checking for other people. Of course, very few people visit the volcanoe at midnight, as it is closed at that time. These petty details didn't bother him, though.  
  
_What would they say if they knew? Wufei would probably say it wasn't justice. Quatre would give me the "there's nothing more precious than life in this universe" speech._  
  
Deep in thought, Heero did not notice that another person was making his way up the slope. He didn't even hear the soft swearing as the other's braid snagged on a bush.  
  
_Trowa would say something short. Like "This isn't a good idea," or "Don't." And Duo...what would Duo say?_  
  
"You know, Shinigami has to make last minute arrangments for suicides. You should consider the inconviniences to others."  
  
_Yeah, that's exactly what Duo would say...the hell!?_  
  
Heero suddenly was aware that someone had their hand on his shoulder. He turned around to face the grimly smiling person behind him.  
  
"Duo...what?" he tried to say. Duo shook his head.  
  
"Did you honestly think I'd stand by and watch you kill yourself?" The smile left his face and was replaced by a look of pain. "I'd probably kill myself if you died."  
  
"You...care?"  
  
"Of course I care. I love you."  
  
And with that, all the determination to end his life left him, and Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier, collasped into the arms of Shinigami. Duo stroked the head of his unconscious itooshu.  
  
"Besides," he murmured softly, "You _still_ haven't killed Relena."  
  
~End  
  
You like? Sorry about the mushiness at the end. Please review!  
  
-TBS 


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